Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
