i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
