Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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