wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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