Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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