she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
