"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
