so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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