Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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