had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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