she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
