i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
