He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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