How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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