My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
