id be glad to
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
