you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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