I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
