when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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