apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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