you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
FUCK WHALES
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
