Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
