he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I need water and some morals
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
