U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
