Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Help. Why am I so naked?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
