so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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