And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
