somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
