Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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