What did we do last night that was yellow?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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