I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
