in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
