Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
