because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
