Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She's the barista slut.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
