ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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