I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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