Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
