What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
