There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
