Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
