Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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