oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
