Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
