And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
