so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
