Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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