Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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