East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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