drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
