Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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