He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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