trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
