D3 body, D1 cock
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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