I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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