I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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