My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
