Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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