so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
