No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
