Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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