Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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