you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize