I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
