in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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