The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
