I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize