So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
