Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
