We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
