i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
