im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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