The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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