If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
