Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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