I think I died a long time ago.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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