its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize