So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
