you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
