When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize