how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
